Protocol 1 · Body
The Lean & Strong Body Protocol
Hold on hitch. Build on your days off. Food and training that survive any hitch — camp kitchen, cooler, or your own.
$67Book · Audiobook · App
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12
Years of hitches
and counting
and counting
4
Sites worked
Fort Hills today
Fort Hills today
6
Schedules run
camp and drive-in
camp and drive-in
76
Chapters across
five Protocols
five Protocols
From the dry room, end of shift
Bitumount, Wood Buffalo, Alberta.
Dear fellow Oil Patch worker,
If you want to work however many hitches you’ve got left and still come home with your body, your sleep and your life intact — then this is the most useful page you’ll read this year.
The job is supposed to pay for the life. Not eat the life.
And nobody ever wrote down how to get back the five things the oil patch takes off you. Here’s the list. Read it slow — you have probably never seen it written down, and that is most of the problem.
One. Your body. Heavier every hitch and you can’t work out why. You’ve blamed the steam table for years. It was never the camp kitchen — the folks who drive to site every day out of Fort McMurray and Bonnyville put on the same weight. Same clock, different building.
Two. Your sleep. Four hours in a bright room with a towel jammed under the door and the vacuum going in the hallway at two in the afternoon. Two flips inside one hitch when the board is crooked with you. Then the first days off gone to becoming a person again.
Three. Your drive. This one’s the male-oriented one, and it points at a doctor, not a bottle. Flat. Not sick. Just nothing in the tank — and it came on so slow most men can’t name the month it started.
Four. Your days off. Day 1 to travel and the patch hangover. Day 2 to errands. Day 3 the tank finally fills — and the whole backlog lands on the same afternoon. Most people out here would be hard pressed to name one specific thing about their last set of days off. And they were there for all of it.
Five. What’s left of you when the shift finally ends. You walk through your own front door and something’s been moved. There’s a routine you don’t know about. There’s a joke you’re not in. The house ran fine without you — which is exactly what you’d want, and it still lands like a shot to the ribs.
Now count how many of those five you’ve ever seen addressed by anything you bought. One. Maybe two. They are one problem. Same cause, five outlets. It isn’t the camp and it isn’t your character. It’s the clock.
Site owns your hours. That’s the deal you signed and the money is why. It doesn’t get to own the other five.
My name isn’t on this page, and here’s exactly why. I still work out there and I intend to keep working out there. Putting my name on a page that sells something, while I’m wearing somebody’s badge on somebody’s site, is a conversation I don’t need to have with anybody’s HR department. You already know how that goes.
Here’s what actually matters. Twelve years of hitches, and counting. Nexen Long Lake. Albian Sands. Suncor Base Plant at Steepbank. Nine years at Fort Hills, where I still work today. I am not a coach and I have never had a client. I have a badge, a locker and a 5:30 bus like you do, and I’ll be on shift while you read this.
Then one hitch I worked out what every program I’d ever bought had in common. Every single one assumed four things about my week. That you get an evening, every day. That you sleep at night, in the same bed, at roughly the same hour. That your week repeats. That you decide when things happen.
I get none of the four. Neither do you. That’s not a discipline problem — that’s a plan built for somebody else’s life. You don’t have a week. You have a hitch, and then you have days off, and they need completely opposite things.
So I stopped looking for a better plan and built a second one. One for on hitch. One for days off. And a changeover between them. I ran it on 4/3, on 7/7 and on 14/14. Out of a camp room and driving in from town. Days and nights. Minus forty.
It held. Hitch after hitch after hitch. Not perfectly. But it held, and nothing else ever had. People on my crew started asking, so I wrote it down. It came out as five books, because the hitch takes five different things from you. Together they’re called The Hitch Fit System.
You don’t need all five to start. You need the one that’s costing you most right now. That one is $67, and the rest will still be here on your next set of days off.
Still on the crew.
Twelve years of hitches, and counting · Fort Hills · Name off the page, for the reason above
Run it on your next hitch. Not next year.
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Run it three full hitches · Full refund · Keep everything
Who this was built for
Is this you?
- You’re a scaffolder, pipefitter, welder, millwright, operator, labourer, electrician or insulator — and the clock belongs to somebody else for twelve hours a day.
- You fly in and live in a room, or you drive the highway out of town before it’s light. Either one. Both are in here.
- Your week doesn’t repeat. You run 4/3, 6/6, 7/7, 14/7, 14/14, 21/7 or something the board made up.
- You’ve bought the programs — the meal plan, the app, the split — and every one of them died somewhere in the back half of a hitch.
- You’re not looking to get shredded. You want to work the hitches you’ve got left and still have a life at the end of them.
If you read that list and recognised your own week, keep going. The rest of this page was written for you specifically.
Why this works when trying harder didn’t
Built on the On/Off Method — two modes, because you live two lives
One set of rules cannot cover both halves of your year. So there are two, and a changeover in each direction. Every Protocol runs on it.
On Mode
Hold the line
Somebody else owns your clock, your food and your bed. The job here is not to build anything — it’s to arrive at your days off with something left. Every On Mode procedure is built to survive the back half of a hitch, a camp kitchen line, and thirty minutes with whatever equipment is in the room.
Off Mode
Build
You’re home. This is the only half where you own your own time, so this is where everything actually gets built. Food you chose. Training that progresses. Recovery. A life. Off Mode starts on Day 3, because Day 3 is when you actually have a tank.
The Switch
The changeover
Two days every hitch. The day you leave, and the day you go back. Most people have no plan for either one. They show up and hope — then wonder why the first days home feel strange and the last night goes sideways.
That’s the whole mechanism. Two modes and a changeover. Every procedure in every Protocol carries a tag, so you always know which one you’re running today.
The five Protocols · One method · Two modes
Pick your door
Five Protocols. Take the one that’s costing you most.
$67 each. Every one is complete on its own — the book, the audiobook read start to finish, and the Hitch Fit App. You do not need the other four to start.
Every procedure is written for your schedule, whichever it is
- 4/3
- 6/6
- 7/7
- 14/7
- 14/14
- 21/7
- Other — your own days on and off
Not sure which one?
Pick the one that stings most
Protocol 2 · Sleep · Most people start here
The Sleep Mastery Protocol
Your work hours change by design. Your sleep shouldn’t pay for it. Built for days, for nights, at camp and at home.
$67Book · Audiobook · App
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Protocol 3 · Drive · Written for men
The Male Drive Protocol
Hold on. Rebuild off. What twelve-hour shifts and flipped clocks cost a man’s energy and drive — and the appointment worth booking.
$67Book · Audiobook · App
Get Protocol →
Protocol 4 · Days Off
The Days Off Mastery Protocol
Land right, live it, go back ahead. The landing procedure, the triage matrix and the ramp-down — written once for every schedule.
$67Book · Audiobook · App
Get Protocol →
Protocol 5 · Hitch to Home
The Hitch To Home Protocol
Walk in with something left, every hitch. Leaving site, the trip, the first night home, and the go-back.
$67Book · Audiobook · App
Get Protocol →
Want more than one? There’s an upgrade on the checkout page that adds the other four. Nothing to decide here — pick the one that’s costing you most and the option will be waiting.
Being straight with you
This isn’t for everybody. Here’s who it’s not for.
I’d rather lose the sale than take money from somebody this won’t fit.
- You work a fixed Monday-to-Friday week that doesn’t move. Your problem is real. It isn’t this one.
- You want a six-pack in eight weeks. Not here. This is about working the hitches you’ve got left and still having a life at the end of them.
- You want to be told none of this is your job. The clock isn’t your fault. What you do with the hour it leaves you is still yours.
- You want to read it and feel better. Reading it does nothing. That’s exactly why the guarantee is three full hitches instead of thirty days.
Still here? Good.
However many hitches you’ve got left, they’re coming either way. Arrive with something left.
Show Me Which One I NeedPick the one that’s costing you most · In your inbox in about a minute
Run it three full hitches · Full refund · Keep everything
What lands in your inbox, in about a minute
Three things, for one price
Every Protocol ships the same way — book, audiobook and the app
- The book. Every procedure tagged On Mode, Off Mode or The Switch, so you always know when to run it. Read it on a phone, a tablet, an e-reader, or print the pages you want for the kit bag.
- The audiobook, in the price. The whole book read start to finish. Not a summary. There is no audio tier and never has been — you get it either way, and it’s the same $67. Listen on the bus, in the truck, or in the dry room.
- The Hitch Fit App, your first four months included. It knows which mode you’re in before you open it, and it works offline in camp, where the wifi doesn’t.
The app — one toggle, two modes, offline in camp
Fair enough
Cut the sales talk and show me some actual pages
Two passages, lifted straight out of the books, unedited. Judge the writing instead of the promises.
The Great Fitness Lie
The Lean & Strong Body Protocol
Here’s what the six-pack influencers on your phone screen want you to believe: “You just don’t want it bad enough. You lack discipline. You have no willpower.”
That’s a lie. A flat-out lie. And I need you to stop carrying it around like it’s the truth about you.
You work one of the hardest, most unforgiving jobs on the planet, in conditions that would break most of the people selling you that advice. The real problem is simpler and a lot more insulting: every diet, every workout plan, every fitness book on the shelf was written for somebody who sleeps eight hours in their own bed on a schedule that doesn’t move.
You haven’t been failing. You’ve been trying to run a one-mode plan on a two-mode life.
Excerpt · The Lean & Strong Body Protocol
You are one of the most disciplined people alive — on site
The Days Off Mastery Protocol · Chapter 1
Think about what happens out there. You get up at 4:30. No snooze. You eat on a schedule somebody else set. You ride a bus or drive the 63.
Runs the risk assessment. Runs the lockout. Pulls the permit. Does the confined space entry. Twenty-step procedures — miss one and somebody gets hurt. Twelve hours on the deck. Minus forty. Then does it again. And again. No missed steps.
That is not a person with a discipline problem.
Then that same person gets home and cannot get the garage cleaned out across the whole set of days off.
Excerpt · The Days Off Mastery Protocol
That’s my voice, not a narrator’s
Tell me if I sound like somebody who’s never been out there.
One sample per Protocol. The audiobook is in the $67 either way.
Body
Protocol 1 · Audiobook sample
0:00--:--
Sleep
Protocol 2 · Audiobook sample
0:00--:--
Drive
Protocol 3 · Audiobook sample
0:00--:--
Days Off
Protocol 4 · Audiobook sample
0:00--:--
Hitch to Home
Protocol 5 · Audiobook sample
0:00--:--
Everything in the box, priced honestly
$67 buys the book. The other two are in the price.
I’m not going to invent a number. Pages do that — they slap $4,000 of “value” on a PDF and hope you don’t check. Every number below you can check in about a minute.
| What you get | What it would cost you |
|---|---|
| The Protocol you pickThe full book. Every procedure tagged On Mode, Off Mode or The Switch. | $67The price on this page. That’s the whole bill. |
| Its audiobookRead start to finish. Not a summary. There is no audio tier and never has been. | $15One Audible credit at $14.95 — the cheapest anybody buys an audiobook. Check it. Here it’s included. |
| The Hitch Fit App, 120 daysMode toggle, procedures, offline in camp | $108Four months at $27/mo. Your first four are in the price. |
| What the three would cost separately | $190 |
| What you pay today | $67 |
So the audiobook and four months of the app — $123 of it — come in free with a $67 book. Not a discount off an invented number. Two real things, at prices you can go and look up, that I am not charging you for.
The book and the audiobook are yours to keep, refund or no refund. After 120 days the app is $27 a month if you want it, and you can stop it whenever you like — nothing happens automatically that you can’t undo in one tap.
$67 is a round of drinks and the taxi home. This one doesn’t come back next month.
Show Me Which One I NeedPick the one that’s costing you most · In your inbox in about a minute
Run it three full hitches · Full refund · Keep everything
My “measured in hitches, not days” guarantee
Three full hitches. Then decide.
3 HITCHES
Full refund · Keep everything · 120-day outer window
Run it for three full hitches. Not read it — run it. If it hasn’t earned its place in your kit by the end of hitch three, email [email protected] and we’ll refund you in full. You keep everything.
One email. No form, no phone call, no “tell us why,” no retention offer. Say the word refund and that’s the whole process. Three hitches, because thirty days means nothing on a 21/7 — that’s a hitch and a bit, and it doesn’t even give you three trips home.
To be plain: it’s a refund guarantee on the method. It is not a promise about your body, your sleep, your drive or your family. Nobody honest can promise you that — and be suspicious of anyone who puts one in writing. You keep the book and the audiobook either way.
The part where a page like this usually shows you 6,000 five-star reviews
There are no testimonials on this page. Here’s why.
Nobody has run it for three full hitches yet, because three full hitches haven’t happened yet. I could go get some — a few glowing quotes, a stock photo, initials and a job title. You work out there. You’d smell it from the parking lot.
So here is every piece of proof I actually have:
- Twelve years of hitches, and counting, across the four sites named at the top — and I’ll be on shift while you’re reading this.
- All six schedules, actually run. 4/3, 6/6, 7/7, 14/7, 14/14 and 21/7. Camp rooms and driving in, both. Minus forty.
- The pages and the audio above, so you can judge the writing and the voice instead of the promises.
- A guarantee measured in hitches, not days, because thirty days is meaningless on a 21/7 and everybody selling one knows it.
When there are real ones, they’ll go here, with real names from real crews. Until then this space stays empty and honest.
Why tonight and not after the next one
The next hitch is already on the board
You know the date. You probably know the crew. And you know exactly what the back half feels like, because you’ve done it forty times.
Whatever’s on your phone when you fly out is what you’ve got. Camp wifi at seven at night, with the whole place streaming the game, is not when you want to find out you meant to download something. Neither is the truck at 4:30 in the morning.
Hit the button. Put in your email. The book and the audiobook land in your inbox in about a minute, from BookFunnel. Download them on decent wifi tonight and they’re yours offline, on whatever you read on, for every hitch after this one.
Or don’t — and run the next one the same way you ran the last one.
Read it · Print the pages you want · Or listen to the whole thing on the bus
First hitch to last. Come home with your body, your sleep and your life intact.
Show Me Which One I NeedPick the one that’s costing you most · In your inbox in about a minute
Run it three full hitches · Full refund · Keep everything
Straight answers
Questions folks on the oil patch ask
“Which one should I start with?”
Sleep, for most people. It’s the domino — nothing else works properly while you’re running on four hours. Training doesn’t stick, your appetite lies to you, and your days off get eaten by catching up.
If your sleep is genuinely fine, take Days Off — that’s the half where everything actually gets built. If the first day home is the strange part, take Hitch to Home.
“Can I get more than one?”
Yes. Pick the one that’s costing you most and there’s an upgrade on the checkout page that adds the other four in one go, at a lot less than five times $67.
You don’t have to decide now, and you don’t have to take it. One Protocol is complete on its own.
“Is it built for my schedule?”
4/3, 6/6, 7/7, 14/7, 14/14, 21/7 — or your own days on and off. Every procedure that depends on schedule length is written with a scaling rule, so the same steps work whether your hitch is four days or twenty-one.
It’s written for men and women both. The Male Drive Protocol is the one exception, and it says so on the cover.
“I drive in from town every day. Is this still for me?”
Yes, and it isn’t a bolt-on. The drive-in half has its own procedures throughout — the truck, the 8 p.m. problem, the one stop on the way home that decides the whole evening.
“I’ve got no time on hitch. When am I supposed to do this?”
On hitch you’re not building anything — that’s the point of On Mode. Those procedures are built for thirty minutes and whatever is in the room, and several take under a minute. The building happens on your days off, where you own the clock.
“What exactly do I get, and when?”
The book, its audiobook, and the Hitch Fit App. It arrives by email in about a minute, from BookFunnel. Download on wifi and it all works offline after that.
The app is free for your first 120 days, then $27 a month if you want to keep it, cancel anytime in one tap. The book and the audiobook are yours to keep whether you keep the app or not.
“What if it doesn’t work for me?”
Run it three full hitches. If it hasn’t earned its place in your kit, email [email protected] and you get a full refund and you keep everything. One email, no questions, no retention offer.
“Is this medical advice?”
No. It’s education, and it says so. The Male Drive Protocol in particular ends at a doctor and a blood panel, not at a supplement — it tells you what to ask for and how to book it around a hitch, and the rest is your GP’s call.
P.S.
You’re not undisciplined. You’re running a one-mode plan on a two-mode life. Five Protocols — Body, Sleep, Drive, Days Off, Hitch to Home — every procedure tagged for on hitch or days off. Take the one that’s costing you most for $67, with its audiobook and the app in the price. Three full hitches to try it, full refund, keep everything.
And if you buy nothing: protein first, every meal. Get light in your eyes at the right end of your shift. Pick one thing your days off are actually for, before you land. Free, all three.
Worst case: you spend $67, run it three hitches, it doesn’t earn its spot, you email one address, we refund you, and you keep everything. Best case: it’s your last hitch, whenever that lands, and you’re still in one piece.
The next hitch is coming either way. The back half will be there. The flip will be there. Day 3 will be there. The only question is whether you walk into them with a method or with a hope.
They own your clock. They don’t get to own the rest of you.
Show Me Which One I NeedPick the one that’s costing you most · In your inbox in about a minute
Run it three full hitches · Full refund · Keep everything
Not spending $67 today? Fair enough.
Take the two pages I’d hand you on the bus.
10 Things That Hold On A Hitch. Pulled straight out of the five Protocols — the things that still work in the back half of a hitch, when you’ve got nothing left and every plan you ever bought has already quit on you.
- Page one is for on hitch — the things that hold when somebody else owns your clock, your food and your bed.
- Page two is for your days off — the only half where you own the clock, so it’s where things actually get built.
- Nothing to buy, nothing to prep, nothing that needs a Tuesday. Camp or drive-in. 4/3 through 21/7.
Read it on the bus in four minutes. If it holds on your next hitch, the Protocol it came out of is $67 up top. If it doesn’t, you’ve lost nothing but four minutes.
Not spending $67 today? Fair enough.
Where do we send it?
Put your email in and it lands in about a minute. That’s the whole transaction.
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Hitch Fit System — For Life On & Off The Oil Patch